As I have been processing why Christians treat other Christians so poorly, I have come up with a few observations. I would like to share these observations with you. You can take them or leave them, but please give them consideration.
First of all many who call themselves Christians are not truly Christians at all. To quote Chuck Jones’ comment on my Facebook post, “Going to church does not make you a Christian anymore then standing is a garage makes you a car”. Being a Christian is to be a follower of Christ and Christ ALONE! Many who go to church are simply keeping up appearances. Many church goers go to church because it makes them feel good and they believe it makes them look good to others. A large amount of churches have become nothing but the equivalent to the country clubs of the 50’s and 60’s. These churches have become nothing but a place for social gatherings and various clubs to meet. Please do not misunderstand, Christians need fellowship with other Christ Followers, but gathering together should not only be about growth in relationship with each other, but more importantly about growth in a relationship with Jesus Christ.
I believe with ALL my heart that there is ONE and ONLY ONE way to God! It is only through a RELATIONSHIP with Jesus that we are allowed access to God. We are not allowed access to God because we have heard of Jesus or even because we believe in Jesus. Access is through relationship alone. Many, even Satan, know and believe in Jesus, but because there is no relationship with Him, there will be NO eternal life with Him. So that being said, being a Christian in simple terms is an individual who has a relationship with Jesus Christ, through which the individual is allowed access to God and granted an eternity in God’s presence.
I fear that over time we fall away from relationship and into works. We start to spend so much time doing the work of God that we neglect the relationship. We get so busy doing for God that we have left no time for Christ. The bible states in James 2:26, “Faith without works is dead”, but in retrospect works without relationship is in vain. If we are focused on the relationship the work will come naturally. Making much of you, making much of God equals self righteousness. Isaiah 42:6 states that we are called to righteousness, NOT SELF righteousness. If too much time is spent in doing the works of God without enough time spent in relationship with Jesus, our human sinful nature is to become not righteous, but self righteous.
We all have been born into a sinful world, filled with a sinful nature, and separated from God. The only thing that makes Christians different from anyone else in the world is that Christians have accepted the gift God has given them in Jesus.
We as Christians are called to judge one another, but we are called to do so ONLY in LOVE. We are not called to judge out of self righteousness. When we are aware of another Christ Follower who is doing things that may be harmful to their relationship with Christ we are to pull them aside and lovingly tell them our concerns. Not because we are better than them or without sin ourselves, but because we TRULY care about the path they are choosing and the effects their choices will have on their relationship with Jesus Christ. Ultimately we all have free will and they have the choice to listen to your concerns or ignore your observations. In this we are not called to discuss the sins of others even with fellow Followers. This would be gossip and harmful. Not only harmful to the individual being discussed, but also harmful to the cause of Christ. When we gossip we turn what we believe to be someone else’s sin into our own sin.
One of the most obvious observations I have made is that Christians put unrealistic expectations on other Christians. When the other Christians are not capable of meeting these expectations, we become disappointed. As Christians we also have a tendency to put unrealistic expectations on ourselves and once again become disappointed. In truth all Christians are simply sinners saved by God’s grace and we need to extend that same grace to others that God has given to us. We as Christians often treat non Christians better than our brothers and sisters in Christ; because we feel Christians should know better. We must take into consideration that just because we or they may know better, we or they may not always chose the best choice. We are all still SINNERS! We as Christians just have knowledge of how to overcome sin and should always be striving to move forward in our RELATIONHSHIP with Christ!
Now let’s add the desire of people to push their own agendas and the fact that we want things the way we want them. This is true even in the church. Christianity isn’t ministry and Christ on our terms; the terms are all set by Christ. After all Christ isn’t asking to follow us, Christians claim to be choosing to follow Christ. In our selfish sinful nature we lash out and become defensive when we do not get our own way. So when we don’t get to have our own way in the church or even in Christ’s will for us the easiest place to lash out is at the church or other Christians.
All this being said, I believe the purest and most truthful reason Christians are mean to one another is that it is easier to point out the sin in others lives then DEAL WITH THE SIN IN OUR OWN!!!! It is easier to rip someone else apart then truly look into ourselves and see the wretchedness hiding inside. Being a Christian does not give us the right to tear each other down; we are supposed to build each other up. Christ wants us to fall broken before Him so He can rebuild us perfect, not in each other’s standards, but in RELATIONSHIP with Him. We will not be perfect until we are with Him in eternity. Our hope is not in this lifetime, our hope is in eternity.
I can’t take responsibility for the relationship, decisions or actions of those around me who call themselves Christians. All I can do is pray that I’m being the example and representation of HIM that He has chosen me to be. “Many have been called, but few have been chosen”, Matthew 22:14.
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Sunday, November 28, 2010
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Step by Step
Proverbs 22:6
Train a child in the way he should go,
and when he is old he will not turn from it.
During a recent visit to my mother’s house she made the comment, “Parents love their
children more than children love their parents.” I had to stop briefly and role that statement around in my head. After doing so, I came to the conclusion that this is an absolute truth. After all, parents create children out of love, to love and be loved.
Although I love my parents very much, I now have children of my own. My children have become the focus and have taken priority over my parents in my life. When we are first born everything we do revolves around our parents. When we have children of our own, everything we do suddenly revolves around them. We may try to deny this fact, but it can be no other way. All plans concern the children. Even plans with your spouse require a plan for the children first.
Our lives don’t begin this way. When we are first born all we know is a relationship with our parents. Our world is very small and rotates completely around our parents and their plans for our days. We know nothing different, so we fall into step with our parents as they lead us one step at a time down the path they fell best for us to follow.
In the timeline of our lives this moment in time is just a small dot at the very beginning of our lifeline. Sometime within the first two years of our lives we take our first steps. When we first begin walking we will often look down to see where we are placing our feet making sure that we do not step wrong. When we are not looking down we have our eyes on our parents not wanting them too far from our line of vision. After all they are guiding us, keeping us safe.
Our parents no longer need to hold our hands. They are no longer guiding the direction of every one of our steps. We begin gaining independence and what began as a slow crawl quickly transforms into a giggling, frantic run.
Running is usually our first act of defiance, testing the limits in a game of “catch me if you can”. We want to know our parents love us and want them to chase us. This game is a lot more fun for the child then the worried, protective and often frustrated parent. Time and again our parents will let us run as long as we are safe, only intervening when we have run so far off the path that we are now in danger.
As we proceed farther down the timeline of our lives we gain more and more independence creating lives of our own, making our own choices and decisions. Out of love our parents step aside allowing us to run ahead, only giving directions when asked. Quietly our parents watch, longing to be a part of our lives, yet knowing we not only need to run but we need to fly!
The roll of parents has taken on a new meaning and comfort can be found in Proverbs 22:6 Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. Being a parent never truly ends. Parents will always be a part of their children’s lives, because children will always fly home.
When we first come to a saving knowledge of Jesus and are reborn into a new relationship with God the Father we have the same experience. When our new relationship with God begins, everything we do revolves around God. We spend as much time with Him as possible, allowing Him to teach us a new way to walk. At first we stay very close letting God guide our steps. We bow our heads in prayer often and look up to the heavens for directions. We hold tight to God’s hand not wanting Him to be too far from our line of vision.
It doesn’t take long and we get a little too big for our britches, thinking we know all God has for us. We start to make plans and run ahead of God, taking things into our own hands. Psalm 119:105 reads, “Your word is a lamp onto my feet and a light onto my path.” The problem is that if we run too fast and too far we run ahead of the light God has used to light our path. When this happens we will trip, stub our toes and don’t see the danger that lies ahead.
The difference between God our Father and our earthly parents is God simply watches as we run, playing “catch me if you can”. He does not worry or get frustrated with us and more importantly He will not chase us. What God will do is wait on us. He waits patiently for us to trip and stub our toes knowing that we will return to Him once we realize the unlit path is too difficult to follow. Knowing that early in our relationship with Him, we were trained up in the way we should go and we will turn back to it.
Ultimately God will always love us more then we love Him. After all God created us out of love, to love and to be loved.
Train a child in the way he should go,
and when he is old he will not turn from it.
During a recent visit to my mother’s house she made the comment, “Parents love their
children more than children love their parents.” I had to stop briefly and role that statement around in my head. After doing so, I came to the conclusion that this is an absolute truth. After all, parents create children out of love, to love and be loved.
Although I love my parents very much, I now have children of my own. My children have become the focus and have taken priority over my parents in my life. When we are first born everything we do revolves around our parents. When we have children of our own, everything we do suddenly revolves around them. We may try to deny this fact, but it can be no other way. All plans concern the children. Even plans with your spouse require a plan for the children first.
Our lives don’t begin this way. When we are first born all we know is a relationship with our parents. Our world is very small and rotates completely around our parents and their plans for our days. We know nothing different, so we fall into step with our parents as they lead us one step at a time down the path they fell best for us to follow.
In the timeline of our lives this moment in time is just a small dot at the very beginning of our lifeline. Sometime within the first two years of our lives we take our first steps. When we first begin walking we will often look down to see where we are placing our feet making sure that we do not step wrong. When we are not looking down we have our eyes on our parents not wanting them too far from our line of vision. After all they are guiding us, keeping us safe.
Our parents no longer need to hold our hands. They are no longer guiding the direction of every one of our steps. We begin gaining independence and what began as a slow crawl quickly transforms into a giggling, frantic run.
Running is usually our first act of defiance, testing the limits in a game of “catch me if you can”. We want to know our parents love us and want them to chase us. This game is a lot more fun for the child then the worried, protective and often frustrated parent. Time and again our parents will let us run as long as we are safe, only intervening when we have run so far off the path that we are now in danger.
As we proceed farther down the timeline of our lives we gain more and more independence creating lives of our own, making our own choices and decisions. Out of love our parents step aside allowing us to run ahead, only giving directions when asked. Quietly our parents watch, longing to be a part of our lives, yet knowing we not only need to run but we need to fly!
The roll of parents has taken on a new meaning and comfort can be found in Proverbs 22:6 Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. Being a parent never truly ends. Parents will always be a part of their children’s lives, because children will always fly home.
When we first come to a saving knowledge of Jesus and are reborn into a new relationship with God the Father we have the same experience. When our new relationship with God begins, everything we do revolves around God. We spend as much time with Him as possible, allowing Him to teach us a new way to walk. At first we stay very close letting God guide our steps. We bow our heads in prayer often and look up to the heavens for directions. We hold tight to God’s hand not wanting Him to be too far from our line of vision.
It doesn’t take long and we get a little too big for our britches, thinking we know all God has for us. We start to make plans and run ahead of God, taking things into our own hands. Psalm 119:105 reads, “Your word is a lamp onto my feet and a light onto my path.” The problem is that if we run too fast and too far we run ahead of the light God has used to light our path. When this happens we will trip, stub our toes and don’t see the danger that lies ahead.
The difference between God our Father and our earthly parents is God simply watches as we run, playing “catch me if you can”. He does not worry or get frustrated with us and more importantly He will not chase us. What God will do is wait on us. He waits patiently for us to trip and stub our toes knowing that we will return to Him once we realize the unlit path is too difficult to follow. Knowing that early in our relationship with Him, we were trained up in the way we should go and we will turn back to it.
Ultimately God will always love us more then we love Him. After all God created us out of love, to love and to be loved.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Pardon Me Your life is Showing
Luke 12:2
2There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known.
In the 1970’s the slip reigned supreme as the must have accessory. Dresses were the fashion. From floor length to just under the butt check and everything in between, your dress length defined your mood. And if you were wearing a dress, you were wearing a slip of the same length. Ladies dresser drawers were filled with these unmentionables.
I had a favorite slip given to me by my grandmother. It had belonged to one of my aunts in the 1960’s. It was bright fuchsia pink with a taffeta texture. It didn’t matter what dress I was wearing I wanted to wear it under everything.
There was only one real problem with slips. Periodically they would do just that, they would slip, peeking out from the bottom of your dress. You only knew because someone would stelthfully tap you on the shoulder and whisper into your ear. “Pardon me, your slip is showing”.
At that point you would sheepishly duck into the nearest powder room and adjust your slip. Then walk out with our head held high as if nothing had happened and all was right with the world.
The slip has a very important job. It is worn to help hide flaws. It prevents the dress from clinging to your legs or from letting the sunshine through for everyone to see you in all your glory. The funny thing about the slip is everyone knows you are wearing one, yet you don’t want anyone to know. So you pretend that you don’t know that they know until you receive that little tap on the shoulder.
Our real lives are a lot like a slip. Only our real lives don’t hide our flaws, our real lives are our flaws. We hide these flaws under our Christian lives praying they won’t slip and peak out.
In our Christian lives we are perfect. We look gorgeous, our house is always clean, our bills are paid in a timely manner and our kids are angels. The heavens shine down upon us because; we reflect the complete image of Christ.
In our real lives we are sinners. Under our perfect image we are frazzled, our house is in disarray, we misplace and at times ignore the bills and our kids only listen to every other word we say. I’m pretty sure God shakes His head wondering why?
Everyone knows that we have real lives under our ridiculous sugar sweet Christian persona. You will do everything you can to keep your real life from slipping and peaking out. So you go through life pretending that you don’t know, that you know, that they know, that you have a real life. Until one day it accidentally peaks out. The problem is when your real life does slip out it is usually such a large piece of life material that you cannot just tuck it back in. Maybe someone stopped at your house unexpectedly or you lose your temper with your kids. It is at this point someone has cuffed you upside the head and yelled, “Pardon me, your life is showing”.
Take a deep breath; because I’m about to give you some advise that will help you when your life peaks out. Just be you. If you are born again, your Christian life is your real life. Stop making excuses. You are a work in progress. You will only be perfect when you reach heaven or when Christ returns. Don’t be a hypocritical Christian living one life on the inside and another on the outside. Let your life show. We are all reaching for the same goal. If we let our real lives show, maybe we can help each other make our real lives mirror the Christian lives we want people to see.
I already know, that you know, that I am not perfect. And you know, that I know, that you are not perfect. So until Christ returns, let’s let Christ be our slip and hide our flaws in Him.
Until then I’ll show you my life, if you show me yours. You may as well agree, because I already know you have one. And every so often just for fun let’s let our lives be “FUCHSIA.”
2There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known.
In the 1970’s the slip reigned supreme as the must have accessory. Dresses were the fashion. From floor length to just under the butt check and everything in between, your dress length defined your mood. And if you were wearing a dress, you were wearing a slip of the same length. Ladies dresser drawers were filled with these unmentionables.
I had a favorite slip given to me by my grandmother. It had belonged to one of my aunts in the 1960’s. It was bright fuchsia pink with a taffeta texture. It didn’t matter what dress I was wearing I wanted to wear it under everything.
There was only one real problem with slips. Periodically they would do just that, they would slip, peeking out from the bottom of your dress. You only knew because someone would stelthfully tap you on the shoulder and whisper into your ear. “Pardon me, your slip is showing”.
At that point you would sheepishly duck into the nearest powder room and adjust your slip. Then walk out with our head held high as if nothing had happened and all was right with the world.
The slip has a very important job. It is worn to help hide flaws. It prevents the dress from clinging to your legs or from letting the sunshine through for everyone to see you in all your glory. The funny thing about the slip is everyone knows you are wearing one, yet you don’t want anyone to know. So you pretend that you don’t know that they know until you receive that little tap on the shoulder.
Our real lives are a lot like a slip. Only our real lives don’t hide our flaws, our real lives are our flaws. We hide these flaws under our Christian lives praying they won’t slip and peak out.
In our Christian lives we are perfect. We look gorgeous, our house is always clean, our bills are paid in a timely manner and our kids are angels. The heavens shine down upon us because; we reflect the complete image of Christ.
In our real lives we are sinners. Under our perfect image we are frazzled, our house is in disarray, we misplace and at times ignore the bills and our kids only listen to every other word we say. I’m pretty sure God shakes His head wondering why?
Everyone knows that we have real lives under our ridiculous sugar sweet Christian persona. You will do everything you can to keep your real life from slipping and peaking out. So you go through life pretending that you don’t know, that you know, that they know, that you have a real life. Until one day it accidentally peaks out. The problem is when your real life does slip out it is usually such a large piece of life material that you cannot just tuck it back in. Maybe someone stopped at your house unexpectedly or you lose your temper with your kids. It is at this point someone has cuffed you upside the head and yelled, “Pardon me, your life is showing”.
Take a deep breath; because I’m about to give you some advise that will help you when your life peaks out. Just be you. If you are born again, your Christian life is your real life. Stop making excuses. You are a work in progress. You will only be perfect when you reach heaven or when Christ returns. Don’t be a hypocritical Christian living one life on the inside and another on the outside. Let your life show. We are all reaching for the same goal. If we let our real lives show, maybe we can help each other make our real lives mirror the Christian lives we want people to see.
I already know, that you know, that I am not perfect. And you know, that I know, that you are not perfect. So until Christ returns, let’s let Christ be our slip and hide our flaws in Him.
Until then I’ll show you my life, if you show me yours. You may as well agree, because I already know you have one. And every so often just for fun let’s let our lives be “FUCHSIA.”
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Tending the Fire
John the Baptist said,
Matthew 3:11
11"I baptize you with[a] water for repentance. But after me will come one who is more powerful than I, whose sandals I am not fit to carry. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and with fire.”
The Holy Spirit is a gift to us from God; He dwells within us and to keep the fire burning in us we must continually do what Paul encouraged Timothy to do in
2 Timothy 1:6-7
I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands. 7For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.
There are three ingredients that must be present for fire to exist heat, fuel and oxygen. By eliminating any of these factors the fire will burnout and be ineffective for its purpose. In essence the fire will die.
A heat source is responsible for the initial ignition of a fire. Heat is also needed to maintain the fire and permit it to spread.
Our heat source is our relationship with Christ. It is what drives us to do fulfill our purpose, which is what Christ commissioned us to do in
Mark 16:15 He said to them, "Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation. Spread the fire. Remind yourself of what God has done for you. Don’t forget, it’s your heat. He has done too much for you to remain idle. All God is asking is that you be willing to tell others what you already know and to share His gift.
Over the years I have come up with a couple of rules I use when sharing Christ with a non-believer.
1. Be you when sharing, be careful not to get over spiritual. Christianease will confuse a non-believer, do not assume that just because you understand the words and phrases you are using that they will. Keep it simple.
2. Be observant of the person’s response. Don’t be afraid to back off. Maybe all you were meant to do is create a spark.
“Don’t be so on fire
That you burn the first person you see.”
I understand your excitement and desire to share the gift you have been given. . Spread the fire to everyone you know, but sometimes you have to simply be nothing more than the kindling.
After I came to a saving knowledge of Christ I wanted desperately to share my fire with one of my closet and dearest friends. We grew up together and shared so many experiences in life together that I could not imagine not sharing this with her. This was the most precious gift I was ever given. I desperately wanted her to be experience it for herself. So I came at her with the force of a back draft, telling her all about heaven, hell, sin and salvation. To which she replied, “I have lots of time. For now I want to have fun and I don’t think I believe in hell.” So I went home and loaded my flamethrower writing her a letter quoting every verse in the bible where hell and Gehenna were mentioned. Guess what she did? She shut down wanting nothing to do with my new religion or me. What I failed to realize was the she didn’t believe the bible was the inspired word of God, so she didn’t believe in hell. I could have thrown the flaming darts of bible verses all day; it was not going to matter.
I did not have all the time she thought she did. She died at 33 of coronary artery disease. The thing that upsets me the most is that we were not even close enough as friends that anyone thought to call me. I found out to late and could not attend the funeral. We had been through so much together over 25 years of friendship, but in sharing the most important thing a friend could share I managed to burn her. I choose to consume her in the bon fire, instead of letting a spark fly into her heart and light it’s own fire within her.
The fire also needs a continuous source of fuel. Fuel is what we feed the fire to keep it burning. What is the fuel that we as Christians need to feed the fire? Jesus says in Matthew 4:4, "It is written: 'Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.' " Read, memorize, medatate, study, consume your Bible. Spend time in prayer. Not only speaking to God, but spend even more time listening to God. He has things he wants to tell you, but if you are never quiet how will you hear? Let God engulf you in His Words.
The last element to a fire is Oxygen. Once you have accepted Christ as your Savior He sends the Holy Spirit to live with in you. Jesus says in John 20:21-22 "Peace be with you! As the Father has sent me, I am sending you." 22 And with that he breathed on them and said, "Receive the Holy Spirit.
The Holy Spirit works equally with the other two elements to support them.
The Holy Spirit gives us the strength, power and authority to accomplish the great commission. In Acts 2 the disciples were filled with the Holy Spirit, by of all things tongues of FIRE coming down from heaven. Immediately after receiving the Holy Spirit Peter stood up and shared his relationship with Christ, 3000 were brought into relationship with Jesus. He fulfilled the great commission. (Our Heat)
The Holy Spirit helps us to pray and hear God. (Our Fuel)
Romans 8: 26-27 says,“ In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. 27And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will”.
Giving us the ability to discern God’s voice from others 1 John 2:26-27
26 “I am writing these things to you about those who are trying to lead you astray. 27As for you, the anointing you received from him remains in you, and you do not need anyone to teach you. But as his anointing teaches you about all things and as that anointing is real, not counterfeit—just as it has taught you, remain in him”.
Without any of these factors your fire will die, and you will be ineffective for the Kingdom of God. Remember your fire is your responsibility no one else’s, not the person who lead you to Christ, not your pastors, but yours. And on the flip side you are not responsible for tending anyone else’s fire. But you should do everything possible not to extinguish it. Be an encourager, don’t judge and feel it is your job to point out the sin in their lives. You give them the kindling and God will burn off the chaff. If you are busy tending other people’s fire you won’t have the time to tend to yours and from personal experience I can honestly tell you, your fire will burn out.
Our Heat is our relationship with Christ, which needs fuel in the form of the word of God, written and spoken, understood by the presence of the Holy Spirit living within us.
Jesus, God and Holy Spirit three separate yet one
Heat, Fuel, and oxygen three separate elements yet one, FIRE.
Matthew 3:11
11"I baptize you with[a] water for repentance. But after me will come one who is more powerful than I, whose sandals I am not fit to carry. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and with fire.”
The Holy Spirit is a gift to us from God; He dwells within us and to keep the fire burning in us we must continually do what Paul encouraged Timothy to do in
2 Timothy 1:6-7
I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands. 7For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.
There are three ingredients that must be present for fire to exist heat, fuel and oxygen. By eliminating any of these factors the fire will burnout and be ineffective for its purpose. In essence the fire will die.
A heat source is responsible for the initial ignition of a fire. Heat is also needed to maintain the fire and permit it to spread.
Our heat source is our relationship with Christ. It is what drives us to do fulfill our purpose, which is what Christ commissioned us to do in
Mark 16:15 He said to them, "Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation. Spread the fire. Remind yourself of what God has done for you. Don’t forget, it’s your heat. He has done too much for you to remain idle. All God is asking is that you be willing to tell others what you already know and to share His gift.
Over the years I have come up with a couple of rules I use when sharing Christ with a non-believer.
1. Be you when sharing, be careful not to get over spiritual. Christianease will confuse a non-believer, do not assume that just because you understand the words and phrases you are using that they will. Keep it simple.
2. Be observant of the person’s response. Don’t be afraid to back off. Maybe all you were meant to do is create a spark.
“Don’t be so on fire
That you burn the first person you see.”
I understand your excitement and desire to share the gift you have been given. . Spread the fire to everyone you know, but sometimes you have to simply be nothing more than the kindling.
After I came to a saving knowledge of Christ I wanted desperately to share my fire with one of my closet and dearest friends. We grew up together and shared so many experiences in life together that I could not imagine not sharing this with her. This was the most precious gift I was ever given. I desperately wanted her to be experience it for herself. So I came at her with the force of a back draft, telling her all about heaven, hell, sin and salvation. To which she replied, “I have lots of time. For now I want to have fun and I don’t think I believe in hell.” So I went home and loaded my flamethrower writing her a letter quoting every verse in the bible where hell and Gehenna were mentioned. Guess what she did? She shut down wanting nothing to do with my new religion or me. What I failed to realize was the she didn’t believe the bible was the inspired word of God, so she didn’t believe in hell. I could have thrown the flaming darts of bible verses all day; it was not going to matter.
I did not have all the time she thought she did. She died at 33 of coronary artery disease. The thing that upsets me the most is that we were not even close enough as friends that anyone thought to call me. I found out to late and could not attend the funeral. We had been through so much together over 25 years of friendship, but in sharing the most important thing a friend could share I managed to burn her. I choose to consume her in the bon fire, instead of letting a spark fly into her heart and light it’s own fire within her.
The fire also needs a continuous source of fuel. Fuel is what we feed the fire to keep it burning. What is the fuel that we as Christians need to feed the fire? Jesus says in Matthew 4:4, "It is written: 'Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.' " Read, memorize, medatate, study, consume your Bible. Spend time in prayer. Not only speaking to God, but spend even more time listening to God. He has things he wants to tell you, but if you are never quiet how will you hear? Let God engulf you in His Words.
The last element to a fire is Oxygen. Once you have accepted Christ as your Savior He sends the Holy Spirit to live with in you. Jesus says in John 20:21-22 "Peace be with you! As the Father has sent me, I am sending you." 22 And with that he breathed on them and said, "Receive the Holy Spirit.
The Holy Spirit works equally with the other two elements to support them.
The Holy Spirit gives us the strength, power and authority to accomplish the great commission. In Acts 2 the disciples were filled with the Holy Spirit, by of all things tongues of FIRE coming down from heaven. Immediately after receiving the Holy Spirit Peter stood up and shared his relationship with Christ, 3000 were brought into relationship with Jesus. He fulfilled the great commission. (Our Heat)
The Holy Spirit helps us to pray and hear God. (Our Fuel)
Romans 8: 26-27 says,“ In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. 27And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will”.
Giving us the ability to discern God’s voice from others 1 John 2:26-27
26 “I am writing these things to you about those who are trying to lead you astray. 27As for you, the anointing you received from him remains in you, and you do not need anyone to teach you. But as his anointing teaches you about all things and as that anointing is real, not counterfeit—just as it has taught you, remain in him”.
Without any of these factors your fire will die, and you will be ineffective for the Kingdom of God. Remember your fire is your responsibility no one else’s, not the person who lead you to Christ, not your pastors, but yours. And on the flip side you are not responsible for tending anyone else’s fire. But you should do everything possible not to extinguish it. Be an encourager, don’t judge and feel it is your job to point out the sin in their lives. You give them the kindling and God will burn off the chaff. If you are busy tending other people’s fire you won’t have the time to tend to yours and from personal experience I can honestly tell you, your fire will burn out.
Our Heat is our relationship with Christ, which needs fuel in the form of the word of God, written and spoken, understood by the presence of the Holy Spirit living within us.
Jesus, God and Holy Spirit three separate yet one
Heat, Fuel, and oxygen three separate elements yet one, FIRE.
For the Least of These
Matthew 25:40
40"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me
What were they thinking? This building has approximately 6,000 seats. This church has roughly 8,000 members. And I’m just guessing that there are 5,000 visiting pastors and other ministry leaders. What could they possibly be thinking by sending forty busses out into the inner city? And on top of all that they rented forty more busses.
This is a huge event. I know they could have planned better. They know how many regular members they have and they have a reasonable head count of the number of visitors. All I want is a seat for my family and me. Let’s get real they know how many to expect. Why would you possibly think it was a brilliant idea to send out all those busses? Now where would everyone possibly sit or even stand. The church is only so BIG!
Those were my thoughts going through my head on a Tuesday night of pastor’s school. It was a huge night. There was going to be an illustrated sermon and I wanted to be comfortable.
When my family finally found seats, I moved into mine somewhat begrudgedly, because I wanted to be comfortable. I could not believe that the church would knowingly bus all these extra people, when there were not enough seats for those who had registered and paid for this conference.
Once worship began I felt better. Okay God it’s You and me touch me. I know You are here God and can feel Your presence. That is until the guy next to me stepped on my foot. Then the only thing I felt was the guy next to me. At that point I felt crowded again. Once again side tracked and preoccupied with the fact that it could have been planned better.
As I watched the illustrated sermon tears weld up in my heart and eyes as I remembered what God had done for me. And then the senior pastor made the altar call. I had never seen anything like what was happening around me. People stood up and ran like a stampede of buffalo to the altar. Crying wanting God to do for them what He had done for me so long ago. And that is when God met me.
Not the kind loving God who gives you a warm fuzzy feeling when you come into His presence. But Daddy God with a scolding and reality check. He said very quietly and sternly “You see Mikki, it’s not about you. It’s not about your comfort. It’s about them, and it is THEIR turn to meet Me.”
As I looked up I understood. The equivalent to the entire population of my hometown had gone to the altar to receive Christ as their Savior. Those 80 plus busses were filled with lost souls who had a divine appointment to meet God that evening. They were supposed to be there. That was their predetermined spot on God’s time line to except or deny Him. That was my predetermined spot on God’s time line to be called on the carpet for being the selfish little brat I really am.
God came down and met me that night. Not the way I wanted or ever expected. But in a way God knew I needed.
God said to me “You pampered, prissy little pastor’s wife. Whatever you do for the least of these you do for me. All I’m asking of you is a little discomfort, but all you were concerned with was your comfort. I love you, but you already know me. Tonight was not about our relationship, it is already established. It is about them and My concern is for their souls. So get off you high horse and put away your fancy shoes. Tonight we are going down into the depths and fighting for souls. It might get a little dirty and I know you will be uncomfortable. It’s okay, because I am fighting beside you. I will provide all you need to fight.”
So once I picked my now inch high self up off the floor and began to pray and worship, I had a whole new attitude. And I thanked God for people who heard His voice and followed. I thanked Him for not always being warm and fuzzy, but always real. I cried for the lost in my hometown, I had witnessed the equivalent of its population being saved.
In God’s sanctuary there is room for everyone. We will all have a seat. But until then we may have to step out of where we are comfortable. It may be as simple as giving up our seat.
40"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me
What were they thinking? This building has approximately 6,000 seats. This church has roughly 8,000 members. And I’m just guessing that there are 5,000 visiting pastors and other ministry leaders. What could they possibly be thinking by sending forty busses out into the inner city? And on top of all that they rented forty more busses.
This is a huge event. I know they could have planned better. They know how many regular members they have and they have a reasonable head count of the number of visitors. All I want is a seat for my family and me. Let’s get real they know how many to expect. Why would you possibly think it was a brilliant idea to send out all those busses? Now where would everyone possibly sit or even stand. The church is only so BIG!
Those were my thoughts going through my head on a Tuesday night of pastor’s school. It was a huge night. There was going to be an illustrated sermon and I wanted to be comfortable.
When my family finally found seats, I moved into mine somewhat begrudgedly, because I wanted to be comfortable. I could not believe that the church would knowingly bus all these extra people, when there were not enough seats for those who had registered and paid for this conference.
Once worship began I felt better. Okay God it’s You and me touch me. I know You are here God and can feel Your presence. That is until the guy next to me stepped on my foot. Then the only thing I felt was the guy next to me. At that point I felt crowded again. Once again side tracked and preoccupied with the fact that it could have been planned better.
As I watched the illustrated sermon tears weld up in my heart and eyes as I remembered what God had done for me. And then the senior pastor made the altar call. I had never seen anything like what was happening around me. People stood up and ran like a stampede of buffalo to the altar. Crying wanting God to do for them what He had done for me so long ago. And that is when God met me.
Not the kind loving God who gives you a warm fuzzy feeling when you come into His presence. But Daddy God with a scolding and reality check. He said very quietly and sternly “You see Mikki, it’s not about you. It’s not about your comfort. It’s about them, and it is THEIR turn to meet Me.”
As I looked up I understood. The equivalent to the entire population of my hometown had gone to the altar to receive Christ as their Savior. Those 80 plus busses were filled with lost souls who had a divine appointment to meet God that evening. They were supposed to be there. That was their predetermined spot on God’s time line to except or deny Him. That was my predetermined spot on God’s time line to be called on the carpet for being the selfish little brat I really am.
God came down and met me that night. Not the way I wanted or ever expected. But in a way God knew I needed.
God said to me “You pampered, prissy little pastor’s wife. Whatever you do for the least of these you do for me. All I’m asking of you is a little discomfort, but all you were concerned with was your comfort. I love you, but you already know me. Tonight was not about our relationship, it is already established. It is about them and My concern is for their souls. So get off you high horse and put away your fancy shoes. Tonight we are going down into the depths and fighting for souls. It might get a little dirty and I know you will be uncomfortable. It’s okay, because I am fighting beside you. I will provide all you need to fight.”
So once I picked my now inch high self up off the floor and began to pray and worship, I had a whole new attitude. And I thanked God for people who heard His voice and followed. I thanked Him for not always being warm and fuzzy, but always real. I cried for the lost in my hometown, I had witnessed the equivalent of its population being saved.
In God’s sanctuary there is room for everyone. We will all have a seat. But until then we may have to step out of where we are comfortable. It may be as simple as giving up our seat.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
10 Things the Pastor’s Wife Would like You to Know,
1. Thank you for the groceries you bring to our home. They are very much appreciated. Have you considered a gift card in the amount you would spend instead? Some foods my family just does not like and we don’t always have freezer space for a gallon of ice cream and ten frozen pizzas.
2. Thank you for thinking of us when you are replacing your furniture. Your old living room or dining room set was lovely ten years ago. I understand that at times you find it necessary to purchase new items. I would like the opportunity to do the same. If an item is no longer good enough for your family why do you believe it is good enough for mine?
3. Our home is OUR sanctuary. It is where our family goes to be a family. Please call before you drop by. Do not assume that because the lights are on and the cars are in the driveway that our family wants to stop everything and converse in deep conversation or entertain you. In fact at times our busy life keeps our home from being in a condition where we are comfortable having guests. We may also be dealing with a family issue that we would not like to be your concern. We need time for our family in order to give time back to yours.
4. Your problems are not my children’s concern. Please try to keep your problems out of my home. There are other places they can be discussed.
5. Thank you for your concern and desire to help. But the only welcome advice is the advice solicited. You have a right to an opinion of us, but unless it is positive please keep it between you and God. It is not your responsibility to point out our faults. We are fully aware of them. Discussing them with others does not hurt us as much as it hurts the church body and causes division. If you believe my husband has been called to be the shepherd, don’t you believe that God will deal with the faults? If you cannot follow the shepherd, please leave the flock without eating the shepherd alive. By snacking on the shepherd you endanger the other sheep.
6. My children are just that, mine! I take the ministry of raising them very seriously. So decisions I make in doing so are none of your business. I do not have to justify them.
7. My number one responsibility in my roll as pastor’s wife is just that, pastor’s wife. It is my first and foremost responsibility to care for him so He can care for you. Please do not over step your boundaries of concern for him. You need to care for him, but some parts of his emotions are mine alone!
8. If you come to us for counseling, advice or help, it is your right to apply or not apply the suggestions or advise you are given. However, I will not listen over and over again to the same struggle through the same situation if you have not applied the steps given to you to try correcting the problem. I will not take responsibility for your problem, decisions you make or the sin in your life.
9. It is hard not to take it personally when people leave the church. I will not chase you. You are adults and have the right to come and go as you please. I would like you to be aware of the fact that it hurts when you leave. It pulls at our hearts. When so much time, energy and love have been expended to make your lives part of ours. When you turn you back on the church it is impossible not to take it as a person rejection. Like a rebellious child rejecting the love a guidance of a parent. Some times we need to set aside your immediate happiness because our ultimate concern in your eternal life. You are free to come and go, but if this starts to affect the others in the flock in a negative way, you will be asked to just go.
10. When all is said and done we love you, whether you believe it or not. Please, if I could ask one thing; remember the heavens do not open above our home. Angels do not sing AAAHHH as you walk through our front door, and we are not in a constant state of worshipping and praising. We are human just like you. The only difference is the call God has put on our lives. We are living our lives as the people God created us to be, not necessarily who you expect us to be.
2. Thank you for thinking of us when you are replacing your furniture. Your old living room or dining room set was lovely ten years ago. I understand that at times you find it necessary to purchase new items. I would like the opportunity to do the same. If an item is no longer good enough for your family why do you believe it is good enough for mine?
3. Our home is OUR sanctuary. It is where our family goes to be a family. Please call before you drop by. Do not assume that because the lights are on and the cars are in the driveway that our family wants to stop everything and converse in deep conversation or entertain you. In fact at times our busy life keeps our home from being in a condition where we are comfortable having guests. We may also be dealing with a family issue that we would not like to be your concern. We need time for our family in order to give time back to yours.
4. Your problems are not my children’s concern. Please try to keep your problems out of my home. There are other places they can be discussed.
5. Thank you for your concern and desire to help. But the only welcome advice is the advice solicited. You have a right to an opinion of us, but unless it is positive please keep it between you and God. It is not your responsibility to point out our faults. We are fully aware of them. Discussing them with others does not hurt us as much as it hurts the church body and causes division. If you believe my husband has been called to be the shepherd, don’t you believe that God will deal with the faults? If you cannot follow the shepherd, please leave the flock without eating the shepherd alive. By snacking on the shepherd you endanger the other sheep.
6. My children are just that, mine! I take the ministry of raising them very seriously. So decisions I make in doing so are none of your business. I do not have to justify them.
7. My number one responsibility in my roll as pastor’s wife is just that, pastor’s wife. It is my first and foremost responsibility to care for him so He can care for you. Please do not over step your boundaries of concern for him. You need to care for him, but some parts of his emotions are mine alone!
8. If you come to us for counseling, advice or help, it is your right to apply or not apply the suggestions or advise you are given. However, I will not listen over and over again to the same struggle through the same situation if you have not applied the steps given to you to try correcting the problem. I will not take responsibility for your problem, decisions you make or the sin in your life.
9. It is hard not to take it personally when people leave the church. I will not chase you. You are adults and have the right to come and go as you please. I would like you to be aware of the fact that it hurts when you leave. It pulls at our hearts. When so much time, energy and love have been expended to make your lives part of ours. When you turn you back on the church it is impossible not to take it as a person rejection. Like a rebellious child rejecting the love a guidance of a parent. Some times we need to set aside your immediate happiness because our ultimate concern in your eternal life. You are free to come and go, but if this starts to affect the others in the flock in a negative way, you will be asked to just go.
10. When all is said and done we love you, whether you believe it or not. Please, if I could ask one thing; remember the heavens do not open above our home. Angels do not sing AAAHHH as you walk through our front door, and we are not in a constant state of worshipping and praising. We are human just like you. The only difference is the call God has put on our lives. We are living our lives as the people God created us to be, not necessarily who you expect us to be.
Just Turned Five
Matthew 19:14
14Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”
Just Turned five is the perfect age. Not going to be five, because people still see you as little. Not five and on half, because there is a chance you are in school. But when you are just turned five people look at you and say, “My how big you’ve gotten.” And you can’t wait to go to school in the fall.
At just turned five you are not yet big enough to have many chores. So your biggest responsibility is to play. When you are just turned five playing is your job. You get to sleep late, go to bed early and take naps. You can spend the entire time between dinnertime and bedtime in a bath. You have a complete disregard for the water temperature. You will play with boats, measuring cups and a colander until your lips are blue, your teeth are chattering and your toes and fingers are shriveled like raisins. The only way you will ever be warm again is to have mommy help you into your fuzzy footie pajamas and curl up in daddy’s lap with your favorite blanket. It doesn’t take long and you’ve fallen asleep in daddy’s lap while he strokes your hair and you watch T.V. Then daddy carries you off to bed, tucks you in, says a quick prayer and kisses your forehead. The best part is the next day you get to wake up and do it all over the next day.
The problem is when you are just turned five you have no concept of what the future holds, so you can’t appreciate being just turned five. Instead we whine because we don’t always get what we want. We complain about having to pick up our toys. Battle our parents over naps. Tantrum at the thought of taking a bath and fight to keep our eyes open as we drift off to sleep.
I don’t know at what age it happened, but it happens to a to everyone, we realize that sleeping late, going to bed early, long bathes or a new appliance makes us as happy as a small child on Christmas morning. I think it was at that moment in my life that I realized I was an adult.
At just turned five you don’t worry about what’s for dinner. If you don’t like what mom cooked you can always fall back on your favorite standby peanut butter and jelly. As you walk through the house room to room and flip the light switches and a ceiling light comes on to light your way. When you’re thirsty you go to the bathroom sink, pull up your stool, turn on the faucet and water comes out to fill your glass. You feel free to fall asleep while riding in the back seat of the car. You’re confident in the fact that daddy is behind the wheel and will get you home safely. You don’t worry about these things because in you trust in your heart that daddy is taking care of everything.
Something happens to us when we reach adulthood and we don’t even realize it is sneaking up, until one day it kicks you squarely in the butt! That something is reality with a capitol R!
When you realize you are no longer footloose and fancy free, but it is your turn to be responsible. You are the one cooking dinner, making the PB & J’s, making sure the bills are paid and trying to stay awake as you drive those who are precious to you safely home. It happens so gradually that you don’t ever see it coming; it is just the natural progression of how life works. We become overwhelmingly aware that daddy is no longer taking care of everything, but others are looking to us to do so.
Now that we all feel as if we are suffocating under an avalanche of responsibility, sit back, close your eyes and take a deep breathe, because the pressure valve is about to be released.
Daddy is taking care of everything! God has it all in control. He sees it all from the beginning to the end and all he asks is that we trust with all our heart, coming to Him as a child who just turned five.
You will still have to cook dinner, but Daddy God knows what you will have and from where it will come. It is still acceptable to have P B & J for dinner. Daddy God is also providing you with a job giving you the ability to pay the bills. So the lights will come on and the water will run. If you look to God He will always light your path
Take a day let the house be a mess. It will still be a mess tomorrow. I can promise that no little fairies will come in and clean while you sleep. Be sure to plan just a little by staying up as late as you want the night before, sleep late into the next morning, take a nap in the sun, play hard at something you truly enjoy, eat peanut butter and jelly for dinner, take a long bath, put on your favorite pajamas, wrap yourself in your favorite blanket and curl up in daddy God’s lap. His lap is big enough for everyone. Let Him stroke your hair while you watch your favorite old movie until you drift off to sleep. For just one day try being just turned five. I strongly suggest you repeat monthly. Daddy God will be pleased.
14Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”
Just Turned five is the perfect age. Not going to be five, because people still see you as little. Not five and on half, because there is a chance you are in school. But when you are just turned five people look at you and say, “My how big you’ve gotten.” And you can’t wait to go to school in the fall.
At just turned five you are not yet big enough to have many chores. So your biggest responsibility is to play. When you are just turned five playing is your job. You get to sleep late, go to bed early and take naps. You can spend the entire time between dinnertime and bedtime in a bath. You have a complete disregard for the water temperature. You will play with boats, measuring cups and a colander until your lips are blue, your teeth are chattering and your toes and fingers are shriveled like raisins. The only way you will ever be warm again is to have mommy help you into your fuzzy footie pajamas and curl up in daddy’s lap with your favorite blanket. It doesn’t take long and you’ve fallen asleep in daddy’s lap while he strokes your hair and you watch T.V. Then daddy carries you off to bed, tucks you in, says a quick prayer and kisses your forehead. The best part is the next day you get to wake up and do it all over the next day.
The problem is when you are just turned five you have no concept of what the future holds, so you can’t appreciate being just turned five. Instead we whine because we don’t always get what we want. We complain about having to pick up our toys. Battle our parents over naps. Tantrum at the thought of taking a bath and fight to keep our eyes open as we drift off to sleep.
I don’t know at what age it happened, but it happens to a to everyone, we realize that sleeping late, going to bed early, long bathes or a new appliance makes us as happy as a small child on Christmas morning. I think it was at that moment in my life that I realized I was an adult.
At just turned five you don’t worry about what’s for dinner. If you don’t like what mom cooked you can always fall back on your favorite standby peanut butter and jelly. As you walk through the house room to room and flip the light switches and a ceiling light comes on to light your way. When you’re thirsty you go to the bathroom sink, pull up your stool, turn on the faucet and water comes out to fill your glass. You feel free to fall asleep while riding in the back seat of the car. You’re confident in the fact that daddy is behind the wheel and will get you home safely. You don’t worry about these things because in you trust in your heart that daddy is taking care of everything.
Something happens to us when we reach adulthood and we don’t even realize it is sneaking up, until one day it kicks you squarely in the butt! That something is reality with a capitol R!
When you realize you are no longer footloose and fancy free, but it is your turn to be responsible. You are the one cooking dinner, making the PB & J’s, making sure the bills are paid and trying to stay awake as you drive those who are precious to you safely home. It happens so gradually that you don’t ever see it coming; it is just the natural progression of how life works. We become overwhelmingly aware that daddy is no longer taking care of everything, but others are looking to us to do so.
Now that we all feel as if we are suffocating under an avalanche of responsibility, sit back, close your eyes and take a deep breathe, because the pressure valve is about to be released.
Daddy is taking care of everything! God has it all in control. He sees it all from the beginning to the end and all he asks is that we trust with all our heart, coming to Him as a child who just turned five.
You will still have to cook dinner, but Daddy God knows what you will have and from where it will come. It is still acceptable to have P B & J for dinner. Daddy God is also providing you with a job giving you the ability to pay the bills. So the lights will come on and the water will run. If you look to God He will always light your path
Take a day let the house be a mess. It will still be a mess tomorrow. I can promise that no little fairies will come in and clean while you sleep. Be sure to plan just a little by staying up as late as you want the night before, sleep late into the next morning, take a nap in the sun, play hard at something you truly enjoy, eat peanut butter and jelly for dinner, take a long bath, put on your favorite pajamas, wrap yourself in your favorite blanket and curl up in daddy God’s lap. His lap is big enough for everyone. Let Him stroke your hair while you watch your favorite old movie until you drift off to sleep. For just one day try being just turned five. I strongly suggest you repeat monthly. Daddy God will be pleased.
10 Promises of a Pastors Wife
1. I will disappoint you.
2. I will at some point offend you.
3. I will lash out at you if you attack my husband or children.
4. I will discipline you children in the church if they are disrespectful or disruptive. If you would prefer that I do not, then please take your ministry as a parent very seriously and be respectful of others attending service or events.
5. I will never expect my children to set and example for yours. You are responsible for being your children’s example.
6. I will never expect certain behavior from my children because their dad is the pastor. I would expect no more or less from my children no matter what their father’s profession. I expect certain behavior only on the grounds that they are my children.
7. I will love you as a sister or brother in Christ. However being the pastor’s wife does not require me to be your best friend. Loving and liking someone are two very different things. Your church attendance should not hinge on being my friend.
8. I will always keep a part of family and myself from you. You will never know me as well as you believe you do. So please do not assume you know my motives.
9. I will not always attend every event. Your attendance should be based on what is best for your family. However God does require the sacrifice of the Sabbath of us.
10. I will always put God, my husband, my children and sanity before you. If you do the same you will not be offended by this promise.
2. I will at some point offend you.
3. I will lash out at you if you attack my husband or children.
4. I will discipline you children in the church if they are disrespectful or disruptive. If you would prefer that I do not, then please take your ministry as a parent very seriously and be respectful of others attending service or events.
5. I will never expect my children to set and example for yours. You are responsible for being your children’s example.
6. I will never expect certain behavior from my children because their dad is the pastor. I would expect no more or less from my children no matter what their father’s profession. I expect certain behavior only on the grounds that they are my children.
7. I will love you as a sister or brother in Christ. However being the pastor’s wife does not require me to be your best friend. Loving and liking someone are two very different things. Your church attendance should not hinge on being my friend.
8. I will always keep a part of family and myself from you. You will never know me as well as you believe you do. So please do not assume you know my motives.
9. I will not always attend every event. Your attendance should be based on what is best for your family. However God does require the sacrifice of the Sabbath of us.
10. I will always put God, my husband, my children and sanity before you. If you do the same you will not be offended by this promise.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
An Affair to Remember
An Affair to Remember
2 Chronicles 15:4
4 But in their distress they turned to the LORD, the God of Israel, and sought him, and he was found by them.
I’m totally in love with my husband, but his mistress is coming between us. It’s because of his mistress that I am contemplating an affair with my pastor.
I know it sounds drastic, but this is my marriage at stake. I’m not sure there is anything else that will get my husband’s attention. I do have a plan. If it works my husband will never even know that I’m having an affair with my pastor. My husband won’t notice after all he has his mistress to occupy his time.
I’ve been screaming for my husband’s attention for what seems like forever. But he seems to have become deaf to my voice. But my pastor he’s different. All anyone in the congregation has to do is whimper. He hears their cries, drops everything and runs to their side. He gives them just enough attention to leave them glassy eyed and starring at him with total adoration. So if my husband does not hear my screams, maybe my pastor will hear my whimper. I already catch myself starring at him glassy eyed and adoringly.
This wasn’t an easy decision. But I’m not sure what else to do. If I let you in on a little secret do you promise not to tell my husband? You see if you tell, he’ll find out about the affair. My pastor, he already knows my feelings for him. I’ve told him I love him a million times. So I don’t think he’ll find my advances a surprise. You have to understand that my pastor is my husband and his mistress is the ministry.
Maybe I’m the only pastor’s wife who feels this way. I believe that if the ministry is your husbands true calling it will never be any other way. Ministry is his passion. It’s that passion that makes ministry his mistress. I can only scream for so long before I start to become hoarse and don’t want to scream anymore. I know that as much of a calling as it is for my husband to be a pastor, it’s my calling to be his wife. And because of this it hurts when I have to take second, third or fourth place to what is happening in the church. I desperately want some of that passion directed toward me.
I’m not talking about his relationship with God. I expect to be second to God. I would not have that any other way. Our marriage and ministry would not work if it were in any other order. But I don’t want to be second to the business of ministry. I love our ministry, but I will be the first to admit that sometimes I am very jealous of the ministry. At times I even resent the business of ministry.
You see the problem is I love my husband. Only God could love him more. But I hate the fact that I have to share so much of his time. Here’s the kicker. It’s not the ministries fault, it’s not my fault, it’s not God’s fault and it’s not even my husband’s fault, there is no one to blame. It just is what it is, ministry.
I have also decided to become a parishioner. I know that he will drop everything and come to my aide at a moments notice.
Over and over I’ve been considering the fact that I may be a selfish little brat wanting the world to revolve around me. I know in my heart that it is not about me, and what I want, it is about God and what He wants. God wants my husband to be a pastor and so do I. God also wants my husband to be my husband. I just think my husband has lost sight of the husband calling and run full speed ahead with the pastor calling. Knowing that my passion is to be the pastor’s wife I will support him and follow right along quietly, until I loose sight of me.
So when it gets down to brass tacks the real problem is… I love my husband. Whole-heartedly, hopelessly, passionately, 100% devoted to him and the ministry God has given him. And I just want him to love me whole-heartedly, hopelessly, passionately, and be as devoted to me as he is to the ministry. I want to be the recipient of some of his passion. I don’t want the left over spent husband that ministry often leaves me. He was my husband first!
Now you know the selfish side of me. But there is another side. It’s the side that understands my role as the pastor’s wife. God did not create me to be the pastor. He created me to be his wife, partner, help mate, lover, confidante, support, shelter, protector and all the other things in the job description. And if I do this for my husband, God will be the same to me. As the pastor my husband carries all the secrets and burdens of the parishioners whom he councils. So I never want to add to the stress. I want to be a source of stress relief. Not an additional burden.
Yet the truth is I need my husband. I need him to be my best friend, my boyfriend, my support, shelter, protector, lover; I need him to be my husband. But when he comes home his emotional sponge has been rung out and saturated everyone else. So when he walks through the door at the end of the night there are no emotions left. So as the pastor’s wife I invest all my energy resaturating his emotional sponge of support. Being a fulltime working mother, completely involved in the ministry God has given my husband this whole cycle leaves me feeling empty and unfulfilled. Who is saturating my emotional sponge?
Enter God, the One who created me to be my husband’s wife, calling me to be the pastor’s wife. God has a lot of names, and Emotional Sponge Saturator is not mentioned anywhere in the bible. Yet the promises of everything I could ever need are given to me by God in the bible. I have gone to many women’s conferences and am tired of the cliché and hearing how God fills in the gaps when they are missing the affections of their Pastor husband. I know that God fills in the gaps, He say’s He will. But the truth is sometimes I don’t want God to fill in the gaps I want my husband to build bridges. I think we all do. Sometimes we expect too much from our husbands and not enough from God. The bible, God’s very word, His continuous love letter to us tells us so.
He is my love…..
1 John 4:8
8Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.
My friend…..
John 15:15
15I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.
My security….
Psalm 18:2
2 The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn [a] of my salvation, my stronghold.
My peace….
Psalm 29:11
11The LORD will give (A)strength to His people; The LORD will bless His people with (B)peace.
I’m the one He adores….
Zechariah 2:8
8 For this is what the LORD Almighty says: "After he has honored me and has sent me against the nations that have plundered you-for whoever touches you touches the apple of his eye-
My deliver…
Psalm 34:17
17 The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; He delivers them from all their troubles.
My comfort when I feel alone and afraid….
Deut. 31:6
6 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."
The lifter of my head…
Isaiah 40:31
31 but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
My everything….
Eph. 1:23
23which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.
I know all of these statements to be true, because the Bible tells me they are. And I believe the Bible is Gods word, because my heart tells me so.
I have been to many women’s ministry events and they tell me these verses over and over. They drill these statements into my head, telling me that everything in ministry is fine. Looking down their noses at me with perfect little pastor’s wives smiles. Then I find myself feeling less than adequate or irritated. I am a pastor’s wife and know that ministry is not always a bed of roses. Often ministry resembles a bed of roses whose blossoms have all been snipped leaving me lying in a bed of thorns. The worst part is these happy little Stepford pastor’s wives leave me feeling guilty about my feelings. And they fail to give me a solution to the problem, except to quote me more verses.
What I have had to confess to myself is that I have total head knowledge of God being all things to me. But I have had a hard time making these things heart knowledge. It’s not that I don’t want the heart knowledge. I’ve come to the conclusion that I feel if I let my head knowledge become heart knowledge I will be enabling my husband to sneak out of his commitment to me. Letting him slide at being the earthly husband God called him to be. After all even the most perfect husband could not achieve the perfection of God as a husband. I do know that God can meet all my needs emotionally, physically and financially. But I want to be selfish expecting my husband to be able to meet all my needs.
What it all boils down to is, because I’m totally in love with my husband I get tired of having to share him, and just getting the left over him at the end of the day. God gave him to me and he is mine
So as I contemplate the affair with my pastor, please don’t tell my husband. And until I can figure out how to have the affair without my husband knowing, I guess I will have to have an affair with God. That way my head knowledge will have no choice but to become my heart knowledge.
2 Chronicles 15:4
4 But in their distress they turned to the LORD, the God of Israel, and sought him, and he was found by them.
I’m totally in love with my husband, but his mistress is coming between us. It’s because of his mistress that I am contemplating an affair with my pastor.
I know it sounds drastic, but this is my marriage at stake. I’m not sure there is anything else that will get my husband’s attention. I do have a plan. If it works my husband will never even know that I’m having an affair with my pastor. My husband won’t notice after all he has his mistress to occupy his time.
I’ve been screaming for my husband’s attention for what seems like forever. But he seems to have become deaf to my voice. But my pastor he’s different. All anyone in the congregation has to do is whimper. He hears their cries, drops everything and runs to their side. He gives them just enough attention to leave them glassy eyed and starring at him with total adoration. So if my husband does not hear my screams, maybe my pastor will hear my whimper. I already catch myself starring at him glassy eyed and adoringly.
This wasn’t an easy decision. But I’m not sure what else to do. If I let you in on a little secret do you promise not to tell my husband? You see if you tell, he’ll find out about the affair. My pastor, he already knows my feelings for him. I’ve told him I love him a million times. So I don’t think he’ll find my advances a surprise. You have to understand that my pastor is my husband and his mistress is the ministry.
Maybe I’m the only pastor’s wife who feels this way. I believe that if the ministry is your husbands true calling it will never be any other way. Ministry is his passion. It’s that passion that makes ministry his mistress. I can only scream for so long before I start to become hoarse and don’t want to scream anymore. I know that as much of a calling as it is for my husband to be a pastor, it’s my calling to be his wife. And because of this it hurts when I have to take second, third or fourth place to what is happening in the church. I desperately want some of that passion directed toward me.
I’m not talking about his relationship with God. I expect to be second to God. I would not have that any other way. Our marriage and ministry would not work if it were in any other order. But I don’t want to be second to the business of ministry. I love our ministry, but I will be the first to admit that sometimes I am very jealous of the ministry. At times I even resent the business of ministry.
You see the problem is I love my husband. Only God could love him more. But I hate the fact that I have to share so much of his time. Here’s the kicker. It’s not the ministries fault, it’s not my fault, it’s not God’s fault and it’s not even my husband’s fault, there is no one to blame. It just is what it is, ministry.
I have also decided to become a parishioner. I know that he will drop everything and come to my aide at a moments notice.
Over and over I’ve been considering the fact that I may be a selfish little brat wanting the world to revolve around me. I know in my heart that it is not about me, and what I want, it is about God and what He wants. God wants my husband to be a pastor and so do I. God also wants my husband to be my husband. I just think my husband has lost sight of the husband calling and run full speed ahead with the pastor calling. Knowing that my passion is to be the pastor’s wife I will support him and follow right along quietly, until I loose sight of me.
So when it gets down to brass tacks the real problem is… I love my husband. Whole-heartedly, hopelessly, passionately, 100% devoted to him and the ministry God has given him. And I just want him to love me whole-heartedly, hopelessly, passionately, and be as devoted to me as he is to the ministry. I want to be the recipient of some of his passion. I don’t want the left over spent husband that ministry often leaves me. He was my husband first!
Now you know the selfish side of me. But there is another side. It’s the side that understands my role as the pastor’s wife. God did not create me to be the pastor. He created me to be his wife, partner, help mate, lover, confidante, support, shelter, protector and all the other things in the job description. And if I do this for my husband, God will be the same to me. As the pastor my husband carries all the secrets and burdens of the parishioners whom he councils. So I never want to add to the stress. I want to be a source of stress relief. Not an additional burden.
Yet the truth is I need my husband. I need him to be my best friend, my boyfriend, my support, shelter, protector, lover; I need him to be my husband. But when he comes home his emotional sponge has been rung out and saturated everyone else. So when he walks through the door at the end of the night there are no emotions left. So as the pastor’s wife I invest all my energy resaturating his emotional sponge of support. Being a fulltime working mother, completely involved in the ministry God has given my husband this whole cycle leaves me feeling empty and unfulfilled. Who is saturating my emotional sponge?
Enter God, the One who created me to be my husband’s wife, calling me to be the pastor’s wife. God has a lot of names, and Emotional Sponge Saturator is not mentioned anywhere in the bible. Yet the promises of everything I could ever need are given to me by God in the bible. I have gone to many women’s conferences and am tired of the cliché and hearing how God fills in the gaps when they are missing the affections of their Pastor husband. I know that God fills in the gaps, He say’s He will. But the truth is sometimes I don’t want God to fill in the gaps I want my husband to build bridges. I think we all do. Sometimes we expect too much from our husbands and not enough from God. The bible, God’s very word, His continuous love letter to us tells us so.
He is my love…..
1 John 4:8
8Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.
My friend…..
John 15:15
15I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.
My security….
Psalm 18:2
2 The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn [a] of my salvation, my stronghold.
My peace….
Psalm 29:11
11The LORD will give (A)strength to His people; The LORD will bless His people with (B)peace.
I’m the one He adores….
Zechariah 2:8
8 For this is what the LORD Almighty says: "After he has honored me and has sent me against the nations that have plundered you-for whoever touches you touches the apple of his eye-
My deliver…
Psalm 34:17
17 The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; He delivers them from all their troubles.
My comfort when I feel alone and afraid….
Deut. 31:6
6 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."
The lifter of my head…
Isaiah 40:31
31 but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
My everything….
Eph. 1:23
23which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.
I know all of these statements to be true, because the Bible tells me they are. And I believe the Bible is Gods word, because my heart tells me so.
I have been to many women’s ministry events and they tell me these verses over and over. They drill these statements into my head, telling me that everything in ministry is fine. Looking down their noses at me with perfect little pastor’s wives smiles. Then I find myself feeling less than adequate or irritated. I am a pastor’s wife and know that ministry is not always a bed of roses. Often ministry resembles a bed of roses whose blossoms have all been snipped leaving me lying in a bed of thorns. The worst part is these happy little Stepford pastor’s wives leave me feeling guilty about my feelings. And they fail to give me a solution to the problem, except to quote me more verses.
What I have had to confess to myself is that I have total head knowledge of God being all things to me. But I have had a hard time making these things heart knowledge. It’s not that I don’t want the heart knowledge. I’ve come to the conclusion that I feel if I let my head knowledge become heart knowledge I will be enabling my husband to sneak out of his commitment to me. Letting him slide at being the earthly husband God called him to be. After all even the most perfect husband could not achieve the perfection of God as a husband. I do know that God can meet all my needs emotionally, physically and financially. But I want to be selfish expecting my husband to be able to meet all my needs.
What it all boils down to is, because I’m totally in love with my husband I get tired of having to share him, and just getting the left over him at the end of the day. God gave him to me and he is mine
So as I contemplate the affair with my pastor, please don’t tell my husband. And until I can figure out how to have the affair without my husband knowing, I guess I will have to have an affair with God. That way my head knowledge will have no choice but to become my heart knowledge.
Friday, May 21, 2010
Red Badge of Courage
Deuteronomy 31:6
“Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, He is the one who goes before you. He will not forsake your; do not fear of be dismayed.”
Once I was fearless. Nothing scared me accept the monsters and ghosts my friends and I would create in our minds. Oh yeah, and the dark. Can you keep a secret? I’m still afraid of the dark.
Over the past few years I have grown more and more aware of the anxieties in my life. And I seem to have a greater amount of them. I know that I hate large crowds and the isles of a super department store will almost disable me completely. So even though it is less cost effective, I will often shop at my local grocery store just to keep my heart out of my throat and avoid hyperventilating.
Recently I felt a fear that I had only felt one other time in my life. I was a freshman in high school and my friends and I went to State Fair. We gathered up all of our courage and decided to go through the haunted house. Two exhibits in my heart began to pound like a base drum, my breathing got shallow, and I could feel myself overheating like a frog in boiling water. I sat down on the floor between Frankenstein and Dracula, shut my eyes and began to cry.
Fear had physically paralyzed me. I had become useless blob of sobbing goo, praying for a knight in shining amour to rescue me. In this case I would be happy to see a large burley man in a white t-shirt with red letters that said security. There I was trapped between Frankenstein and Dracula with my one and only defense mechanism TEARS!
Out of nowhere a large hand reached down and helped me to my feet. Security had come to lead me out. I’m not even sure how he knew I was there. But he did. Maybe Frankenstein snuck out and told the guard that some overly dramatic chick was ruining his extremely realistic performance. It is also possible that the security guard was watching, saw me and just knew that I was a damsel in distress who needed rescuing. All I knew was that to me he was a savior and I was lost and scared. He was the only one who could rescue me from the evil beings that surrounded me.
The whole feeling came over me so quickly that I never saw it coming. It blindsided me. I was doing something I had done before. Just two years prior. I was in the exact same spot doing the exact same thing. But two years prior the reaction was completely different. I was climbing a mountain. Not Mount Everest, a mountain behind a church, a prayer mountain. What could possibly happen to me on a mountain that God created specifically for prayer? As I climbed closer to the top, which I had every intention of reaching, I expected to be short of breath because I was two years older and heavier. That was not the case. Once again my heart began to pound like a base drum, my breathing got shallow, and I could feel myself overheating like a frog in boiling water. I knew exactly what I was feeling, I was feeling fear. Not of going higher, but of coming down that mountain. I know that fear is not of God. It says in Deuteronomy 31:6 “Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, He is the one who goes before you. He will not forsake your; do not fear of be dismayed.” How could I possible be so anxious on top of such a holy mountain? Yet the feeling was very real, I wanted down and I wanted down now! So I did want any red-blooded American mom would do during a ridiculous anxiety attack, I sat down pretending to catch my breath.
It was at that point I remembered feeling the same way once before, I remembered that haunted house at the state fair. I also remembered the nice man in the white T-shirt that said SECURITY on the back in large red letters. I remembered burying my head in his back against those red letters, closing my eyes and letting him guide me one step at a time away from the evil. I allowed the security guard to become my red badge of courage. Then I thought to myself how much I had grown in the last 20 plus years at least I wasn’t crying.
So I stood up and announced to my family that I was going down the mountain. As I descended I prayed the entire way down. Burying my heart in chest of the nicest man I have ever known, a chest covered in red stripes that said I Love You. The man who’s red stripes conquered all evil, so that I would never have to be afraid knowing He will forever be my red badge of courage. Jesus lead me one step at a time down the mountain, just as He will helps me conquer my fears on a daily basis. I know He has gone before me, and He will not forsake me.
I still have to confess that I’m afraid of the dark, and don’t look for me in the isles of my super department store. But I know in my heart, that Jesus will be with me in both of these places, because he guides my steps going before me to keep me safe in His Will.
“Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, He is the one who goes before you. He will not forsake your; do not fear of be dismayed.”
Once I was fearless. Nothing scared me accept the monsters and ghosts my friends and I would create in our minds. Oh yeah, and the dark. Can you keep a secret? I’m still afraid of the dark.
Over the past few years I have grown more and more aware of the anxieties in my life. And I seem to have a greater amount of them. I know that I hate large crowds and the isles of a super department store will almost disable me completely. So even though it is less cost effective, I will often shop at my local grocery store just to keep my heart out of my throat and avoid hyperventilating.
Recently I felt a fear that I had only felt one other time in my life. I was a freshman in high school and my friends and I went to State Fair. We gathered up all of our courage and decided to go through the haunted house. Two exhibits in my heart began to pound like a base drum, my breathing got shallow, and I could feel myself overheating like a frog in boiling water. I sat down on the floor between Frankenstein and Dracula, shut my eyes and began to cry.
Fear had physically paralyzed me. I had become useless blob of sobbing goo, praying for a knight in shining amour to rescue me. In this case I would be happy to see a large burley man in a white t-shirt with red letters that said security. There I was trapped between Frankenstein and Dracula with my one and only defense mechanism TEARS!
Out of nowhere a large hand reached down and helped me to my feet. Security had come to lead me out. I’m not even sure how he knew I was there. But he did. Maybe Frankenstein snuck out and told the guard that some overly dramatic chick was ruining his extremely realistic performance. It is also possible that the security guard was watching, saw me and just knew that I was a damsel in distress who needed rescuing. All I knew was that to me he was a savior and I was lost and scared. He was the only one who could rescue me from the evil beings that surrounded me.
The whole feeling came over me so quickly that I never saw it coming. It blindsided me. I was doing something I had done before. Just two years prior. I was in the exact same spot doing the exact same thing. But two years prior the reaction was completely different. I was climbing a mountain. Not Mount Everest, a mountain behind a church, a prayer mountain. What could possibly happen to me on a mountain that God created specifically for prayer? As I climbed closer to the top, which I had every intention of reaching, I expected to be short of breath because I was two years older and heavier. That was not the case. Once again my heart began to pound like a base drum, my breathing got shallow, and I could feel myself overheating like a frog in boiling water. I knew exactly what I was feeling, I was feeling fear. Not of going higher, but of coming down that mountain. I know that fear is not of God. It says in Deuteronomy 31:6 “Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, He is the one who goes before you. He will not forsake your; do not fear of be dismayed.” How could I possible be so anxious on top of such a holy mountain? Yet the feeling was very real, I wanted down and I wanted down now! So I did want any red-blooded American mom would do during a ridiculous anxiety attack, I sat down pretending to catch my breath.
It was at that point I remembered feeling the same way once before, I remembered that haunted house at the state fair. I also remembered the nice man in the white T-shirt that said SECURITY on the back in large red letters. I remembered burying my head in his back against those red letters, closing my eyes and letting him guide me one step at a time away from the evil. I allowed the security guard to become my red badge of courage. Then I thought to myself how much I had grown in the last 20 plus years at least I wasn’t crying.
So I stood up and announced to my family that I was going down the mountain. As I descended I prayed the entire way down. Burying my heart in chest of the nicest man I have ever known, a chest covered in red stripes that said I Love You. The man who’s red stripes conquered all evil, so that I would never have to be afraid knowing He will forever be my red badge of courage. Jesus lead me one step at a time down the mountain, just as He will helps me conquer my fears on a daily basis. I know He has gone before me, and He will not forsake me.
I still have to confess that I’m afraid of the dark, and don’t look for me in the isles of my super department store. But I know in my heart, that Jesus will be with me in both of these places, because he guides my steps going before me to keep me safe in His Will.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Lost in Familiar Territory
Psalm 119:176
I have strayed like a lost sheep. Seek your servant, for I have not forgotten your commands.
A funny thing happened to me on my way to sleep. God placed a memory in my head. We all have memories, some good, some not so good, but they all play a part in making us who we are today.
This memory had been erased from my everyday thoughts forever ago. When it came to mind I knew it had to be from God, because it was so vivid. It made me laugh a little when it came to mind and at first I thought it incidental. Then I spoke the story out loud to my husband and began to mull it over in my thoughts. I thought to myself what on earth triggered that memory. Then I realized it wasn’t anything on earth that brought the memory to mind. It was God. He was speaking to me using my own personal parable.
I could not have been more than four, because we lived in a different house when I began kindergarten. We lived on the corner of Oak and Main Street, and an alley ran down the center of our block. In the early 1970’s that block was my reality. As long as I did not leave the block I could ride my Mark 5 Speed Race pedal racecar from dawn until dusk. I ran with a group of approximately 8 kids between the ages four and eight. We were a gang and we all looked after each other. The boy who lived kitty corner from my house was my age and my best friend. We did everything together. This is important because we were the youngest.
One sunny afternoon we were all standing on the corner as far down Oak Street as I was allowed to go. I’m not sure how the whole incident started, but I am positive that I was the instigator of the outcome. I also know for a fact that the outcome was a direct result of my best friend and I proving we were no longer babies. After all at the time baby was the worst four-letter word we knew.
It all went down like this…. I being the instigator probably made a very bold statement that went something like this “We’re not babies, we’ll prove it, we can cross the street without a grownup.” At this point my misguided best friend dropped his chin to his chest, thinking she’s doing it again, because all the misguiding he usually received was from me. If I had to guess I’m almost positive one of the older boys replied “Prove it, I double dog dare you.” Walking away from such a dare would just prove that we were babies, and I was not about to be called a baby.
Grabbing my partner in crime by the hand we crossed the street. Turning around with a sigh of relief, after all we had not been hit by a car, in a very young lady like manner I stuck out my tongue.
Crossing one street wasn’t hard, so we crossed another and another and so on until we came to a small park. We had played in this park many times before with our parents, so we found no reason not to play. We played for what seemed like forever in this very familiar little park. We never realized the very true fact that we were lost. We did not have a clue as to which way to go to get home. After all we had gotten to the park by crossing random streets. Yet we had been to the park often and we not at all concerned with the potential outcome of being lost.
In reality we didn’t play in the park very long when we began to come up with a plan to get home. We had not left ourselves a trail of breadcrumbs, so we thought we were on our own. Here is the important part, as we were looking for home, our parents were looking for us. As we tried to back track and find our way back seeking out familiar streets, our parents knew which way we had gone. They met us as we left the park to lead us home.
Our relationship with God is very much the same. As Christians we look back on our lives in the world thinking that particular things of the world didn’t hurt us. So we let a little bit of our old selves back into our lives. Then step-by-step, inch-by-inch our old selves creep right back in. It can be small things, which seem incidental. We may pick up a bad word, read a borderline inappropriate book or watch a questionable movie. Before you ever see it happening there is no difference between the born again you and the old you.
As Christians we don’t just get up one morning and decide today I will sin. As humans there are no decisions to be made, we are sinners. The problem is we are so familiar with our old selves that we fail to see that we are once again lost.
The awesome thing is Daddy God makes it possible to find our way back home. And we don’t have to carry a bag of breadcrumbs or a box of stuffing to leave ourselves a trail. All we have to do is turn around, look behind us for the way home and God or Father will meet us right there. We don’t even have to step off the curb. He is at the entrance of the park waiting for us to turn around and look for our way home. Our Father is waiting to guide us every step of the way.
In reality we are all sinners and periodically stray. If you say you don’t you are a hypocrite and a liar, and by making such a statement you have sinned. My breadcrumb paths alone would keep the pigeons in Chicago fat and happy. But our loving Father Daddy God is always watching and waiting for us to look toward home. It is as simple as turning around.
I have strayed like a lost sheep. Seek your servant, for I have not forgotten your commands.
A funny thing happened to me on my way to sleep. God placed a memory in my head. We all have memories, some good, some not so good, but they all play a part in making us who we are today.
This memory had been erased from my everyday thoughts forever ago. When it came to mind I knew it had to be from God, because it was so vivid. It made me laugh a little when it came to mind and at first I thought it incidental. Then I spoke the story out loud to my husband and began to mull it over in my thoughts. I thought to myself what on earth triggered that memory. Then I realized it wasn’t anything on earth that brought the memory to mind. It was God. He was speaking to me using my own personal parable.
I could not have been more than four, because we lived in a different house when I began kindergarten. We lived on the corner of Oak and Main Street, and an alley ran down the center of our block. In the early 1970’s that block was my reality. As long as I did not leave the block I could ride my Mark 5 Speed Race pedal racecar from dawn until dusk. I ran with a group of approximately 8 kids between the ages four and eight. We were a gang and we all looked after each other. The boy who lived kitty corner from my house was my age and my best friend. We did everything together. This is important because we were the youngest.
One sunny afternoon we were all standing on the corner as far down Oak Street as I was allowed to go. I’m not sure how the whole incident started, but I am positive that I was the instigator of the outcome. I also know for a fact that the outcome was a direct result of my best friend and I proving we were no longer babies. After all at the time baby was the worst four-letter word we knew.
It all went down like this…. I being the instigator probably made a very bold statement that went something like this “We’re not babies, we’ll prove it, we can cross the street without a grownup.” At this point my misguided best friend dropped his chin to his chest, thinking she’s doing it again, because all the misguiding he usually received was from me. If I had to guess I’m almost positive one of the older boys replied “Prove it, I double dog dare you.” Walking away from such a dare would just prove that we were babies, and I was not about to be called a baby.
Grabbing my partner in crime by the hand we crossed the street. Turning around with a sigh of relief, after all we had not been hit by a car, in a very young lady like manner I stuck out my tongue.
Crossing one street wasn’t hard, so we crossed another and another and so on until we came to a small park. We had played in this park many times before with our parents, so we found no reason not to play. We played for what seemed like forever in this very familiar little park. We never realized the very true fact that we were lost. We did not have a clue as to which way to go to get home. After all we had gotten to the park by crossing random streets. Yet we had been to the park often and we not at all concerned with the potential outcome of being lost.
In reality we didn’t play in the park very long when we began to come up with a plan to get home. We had not left ourselves a trail of breadcrumbs, so we thought we were on our own. Here is the important part, as we were looking for home, our parents were looking for us. As we tried to back track and find our way back seeking out familiar streets, our parents knew which way we had gone. They met us as we left the park to lead us home.
Our relationship with God is very much the same. As Christians we look back on our lives in the world thinking that particular things of the world didn’t hurt us. So we let a little bit of our old selves back into our lives. Then step-by-step, inch-by-inch our old selves creep right back in. It can be small things, which seem incidental. We may pick up a bad word, read a borderline inappropriate book or watch a questionable movie. Before you ever see it happening there is no difference between the born again you and the old you.
As Christians we don’t just get up one morning and decide today I will sin. As humans there are no decisions to be made, we are sinners. The problem is we are so familiar with our old selves that we fail to see that we are once again lost.
The awesome thing is Daddy God makes it possible to find our way back home. And we don’t have to carry a bag of breadcrumbs or a box of stuffing to leave ourselves a trail. All we have to do is turn around, look behind us for the way home and God or Father will meet us right there. We don’t even have to step off the curb. He is at the entrance of the park waiting for us to turn around and look for our way home. Our Father is waiting to guide us every step of the way.
In reality we are all sinners and periodically stray. If you say you don’t you are a hypocrite and a liar, and by making such a statement you have sinned. My breadcrumb paths alone would keep the pigeons in Chicago fat and happy. But our loving Father Daddy God is always watching and waiting for us to look toward home. It is as simple as turning around.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Living in the Land of the Lost
Matthew 9:10-13
10 While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew's house, many tax collectors and "sinners" came and ate with him and his disciples. 11 When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, "Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and 'sinners'?"
12 On hearing this, Jesus said, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. 13 But go and learn what this means: 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice.'[a] For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners."
I’m just going to confess and tell you right up front where I was. I may as well, God already knows, He went with me. I know it was not an appropriate place for me to be, but I have no regrets and I would go again to see what I saw and feel how I felt. It had been a long time since I was that aware of my surroundings or to desperation in the world to be loved. The past 20 or so years of my life I have been very sheltered. I have been living no-where near the edge on which I thought I lived. In fact I have been in the suburbs of Christianity, where language is not colorful, people are dressed appropriately, most hair is within a few shades of its God given color and I feel safe. So I may as well just fess up, “I, the pastor’s wife, went to a dance club, bar, saloon, tavern whatever title you would like to use.” There you go, now you know, and I would still go again.
It was never my intention to go. I was supposed to be going out to dinner with associates. I do believe it was God’s intention for me to see what I saw and feel what I felt. My eyes where opened wide and I would prefer that they never again be shut quite so tight.
The building had a nice size crowd when we first entered, but soon it was filled to capacity. Not only was it full to capacity, but people were lined up outside the door waiting to come in. As soon as one group would leave another group was filing in filling every possible gap. No nook or cranny was without a body filling its area. Everyone had the same intentions. They were all there to escape, feel free for a time and be someone they weren’t even if for just for a moment.
What surprised me at first was the amount of people who where looking for something to fulfill an emptiness in their lives, but were looking in the wrong place.
What truly shocked me was the way people thought it was appropriate to dress and behave. It was as if the mild mannered secretary by day became the vixen call girl by night and was proud of her alter ego. She was not humble or embarrassed, but brazenly flaunting her desire to be loved. It did not matter who the man or woman in her line of sight was, every dance became a mating call. She acted out her desires with reckless abandon allowing anyone willing to participate; all the while consuming more alcohol, for the soul purpose of becoming numb to any feelings. Drinking until she was no longer able to distinguish appropriate from inappropriate or maybe not even caring. After all love is love, isn’t it? It made me sad to think that she would have so little respect for herself or for God.
As I watched the lives of the lost unfold around me, I felt as if the walls were closing in. I was so far removed from my own known reality that I became overly aware of how sheltered I had let myself become. There were so many individuals stepping on me, spilling their drinks on me and approaching me in a manner that felt, okay I’ll just say it, it felt sleazy. Instinct kicked in and I immediately pulled up my drawbridge and began formulating my escape plan.
I wanted to cry not because I was uncomfortable, but because every one of these souls was lost. They were living in an unrealistic world, not knowing the comfort and preciousness of unconditional true love. My heart wept for them and I saw them as God saw them, they were in need of a Savior. I saw myself in them. They were me. Me before my heart was opened and I had let God in. It was not only uncomfortable because they were lost, but it was uncomfortable because I was watching what could have so easily been, my own reflection looking back at me.
So I watched, secretly wishing and praying that all the souls in the dance club would find the love, peace, fulfillment, joy and purpose they were really looking for. Wondering what the church would have to do to have a congregation as devoted as this dance club had patrons. All the while feeling torn up inside because these devoted club goers were standing for nothing I believed. We were on opposite sides of the battle lines and I felt them advancing. I stood knowing that I was one, but Christ makes me many on the battlefield. I held my ground standing in the gap for the lost souls around me.
The party I was with had been quietly teasing me all night about being out of my element as if I would compromise. My support was limited and I knew that it was time for me to leave and take a stand for what I truly believed. My escape was easy, I turned to those who had brought me and said, “I’ll get a cab go back to the hotel and order room service, I’ll see you in the morning.” It was then that those with me realized that my role as pastors was wife my title, but child of God was my being.
I am glad I had the opportunity to step into the world. I now know that I am not of the world and I can stand in the moments when of world and no longer of the world collide. But most importantly I can say, “I have been, I have seen and I have stood in the gap. Crying the tears of God, feeling His heartbreak and I knowing His heat beat.
The lost are wounded, sick and weary. We have what will cure them, but it will do them no good if we do not share the cure. If we sit inside our homes and churches just talking to other Christians about Christ we are helping no one. We need to go into the world of the lost bringing them the escape plan.
Living in the land of the lost does not mean conforming to the land of the lost. We must be familiar with the land of the lost to relate and reach the lost, transporting them into the land of the light. A land filled with love, peace, joy and purpose.
10 While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew's house, many tax collectors and "sinners" came and ate with him and his disciples. 11 When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, "Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and 'sinners'?"
12 On hearing this, Jesus said, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. 13 But go and learn what this means: 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice.'[a] For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners."
I’m just going to confess and tell you right up front where I was. I may as well, God already knows, He went with me. I know it was not an appropriate place for me to be, but I have no regrets and I would go again to see what I saw and feel how I felt. It had been a long time since I was that aware of my surroundings or to desperation in the world to be loved. The past 20 or so years of my life I have been very sheltered. I have been living no-where near the edge on which I thought I lived. In fact I have been in the suburbs of Christianity, where language is not colorful, people are dressed appropriately, most hair is within a few shades of its God given color and I feel safe. So I may as well just fess up, “I, the pastor’s wife, went to a dance club, bar, saloon, tavern whatever title you would like to use.” There you go, now you know, and I would still go again.
It was never my intention to go. I was supposed to be going out to dinner with associates. I do believe it was God’s intention for me to see what I saw and feel what I felt. My eyes where opened wide and I would prefer that they never again be shut quite so tight.
The building had a nice size crowd when we first entered, but soon it was filled to capacity. Not only was it full to capacity, but people were lined up outside the door waiting to come in. As soon as one group would leave another group was filing in filling every possible gap. No nook or cranny was without a body filling its area. Everyone had the same intentions. They were all there to escape, feel free for a time and be someone they weren’t even if for just for a moment.
What surprised me at first was the amount of people who where looking for something to fulfill an emptiness in their lives, but were looking in the wrong place.
What truly shocked me was the way people thought it was appropriate to dress and behave. It was as if the mild mannered secretary by day became the vixen call girl by night and was proud of her alter ego. She was not humble or embarrassed, but brazenly flaunting her desire to be loved. It did not matter who the man or woman in her line of sight was, every dance became a mating call. She acted out her desires with reckless abandon allowing anyone willing to participate; all the while consuming more alcohol, for the soul purpose of becoming numb to any feelings. Drinking until she was no longer able to distinguish appropriate from inappropriate or maybe not even caring. After all love is love, isn’t it? It made me sad to think that she would have so little respect for herself or for God.
As I watched the lives of the lost unfold around me, I felt as if the walls were closing in. I was so far removed from my own known reality that I became overly aware of how sheltered I had let myself become. There were so many individuals stepping on me, spilling their drinks on me and approaching me in a manner that felt, okay I’ll just say it, it felt sleazy. Instinct kicked in and I immediately pulled up my drawbridge and began formulating my escape plan.
I wanted to cry not because I was uncomfortable, but because every one of these souls was lost. They were living in an unrealistic world, not knowing the comfort and preciousness of unconditional true love. My heart wept for them and I saw them as God saw them, they were in need of a Savior. I saw myself in them. They were me. Me before my heart was opened and I had let God in. It was not only uncomfortable because they were lost, but it was uncomfortable because I was watching what could have so easily been, my own reflection looking back at me.
So I watched, secretly wishing and praying that all the souls in the dance club would find the love, peace, fulfillment, joy and purpose they were really looking for. Wondering what the church would have to do to have a congregation as devoted as this dance club had patrons. All the while feeling torn up inside because these devoted club goers were standing for nothing I believed. We were on opposite sides of the battle lines and I felt them advancing. I stood knowing that I was one, but Christ makes me many on the battlefield. I held my ground standing in the gap for the lost souls around me.
The party I was with had been quietly teasing me all night about being out of my element as if I would compromise. My support was limited and I knew that it was time for me to leave and take a stand for what I truly believed. My escape was easy, I turned to those who had brought me and said, “I’ll get a cab go back to the hotel and order room service, I’ll see you in the morning.” It was then that those with me realized that my role as pastors was wife my title, but child of God was my being.
I am glad I had the opportunity to step into the world. I now know that I am not of the world and I can stand in the moments when of world and no longer of the world collide. But most importantly I can say, “I have been, I have seen and I have stood in the gap. Crying the tears of God, feeling His heartbreak and I knowing His heat beat.
The lost are wounded, sick and weary. We have what will cure them, but it will do them no good if we do not share the cure. If we sit inside our homes and churches just talking to other Christians about Christ we are helping no one. We need to go into the world of the lost bringing them the escape plan.
Living in the land of the lost does not mean conforming to the land of the lost. We must be familiar with the land of the lost to relate and reach the lost, transporting them into the land of the light. A land filled with love, peace, joy and purpose.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
A World of Pure Imagination
Psalm 84:1-4
1 How lovely is your dwelling place,
O LORD Almighty!
2 My soul yearns, even faints,
for the courts of the LORD;
my heart and my flesh cry out
for the living God.
3 Even the sparrow has found a home,
and the swallow a nest for herself,
where she may have her young—
a place near your altar,
O LORD Almighty, my King and my God.
4 Blessed are those who dwell in your house;
they are ever praising you.
Selah
What is the name written on your birth certificate? Have you ever been in love? What is your favorite color? If you could be a crayon what color would you be? These are all questions that have been sent to me over and over again in a wonderful get to know your friends E-mail questionnaire. My favorite question is “If you could be anywhere right now, where would you be?” This question really got me to think. I don’t really care what color crayon I would be, but I do care about where I am. The first few times my answer was a simple “In Brad’s arms on the beach.” I would type in my response and go on to the next question, something really important that inquiring minds needed to know, “Chocolate or Vanilla?”
Have you ever had one of those days? They say there is no such thing as a stupid question, but if there were that question would certainly qualify. You would be lying to yourself if you denied that some days you just want to crawl back into bed and pull the covers over your head. Sometimes it is not the entire day, but specific moments when you just need to take a break from reality and let your mind go to a secret place. The only people in this place are those you allow into your daydream. You go in your mind to “A World of Pure Imagination.” That is everyone’s favorite place to be right now.
I recently set out on a journey of imagination; looking both into my own secret hideaway along with the dreams of people close to me, willing to share. So many of the places were the same, sand, sun, warm breeze, and a personal attendant to be at ones beck and call to fulfill every desire.
I had the opportunity to fulfill my imagination destination by going on a cruise. I knew no one but my husband. We splashed in the ocean, let the sand squish between our toes, and had attendants who brought us anything we could ever think to require at any time, day or night. The breezes were warm like the breath of God. When God blew the palm trees it was as if a choir of raindrops was singing while the waves stroke the shore keeping a continuous beat. But most amazing was the smell. There was none. It was as pure as if I was imagining the whole experience.
It was there that I realized that although I loved this hideaway, it would never be the same. God gave me the opportunity to travel into my imagination and let it be a reality in my life. Much to my surprise, I would take the reality over the dream any time it is offered.
Through this journey I had much time to reflect and talk to God. I came to the consciousness that it is not so much were I go, but where I always am. We as Christians have the absolute gift of being in Gods presence at all times. We can escape into His Heart and He will hide us in a secret place; where we are always safe from evil, and a bad day.
We never have to leave God’s presence. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 says “Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Jesus Christ.” If we are in continuous prayer we will be in constant fellowship with God, always in His presence, dwelling in Him and Him in us.
To answer the questions above, my birth certificate says Michelle Marie Gengler. My favorite color is purple or sage green. I have been in love and still am, this is why I like Brad’s arms around me. I would be a red crayon, because red is bold and daring. I usually chose vanilla, because you can always add another flavor. Last but certainly not least, my favorite place to be is in the presence of God, there is no greater joy.
1 How lovely is your dwelling place,
O LORD Almighty!
2 My soul yearns, even faints,
for the courts of the LORD;
my heart and my flesh cry out
for the living God.
3 Even the sparrow has found a home,
and the swallow a nest for herself,
where she may have her young—
a place near your altar,
O LORD Almighty, my King and my God.
4 Blessed are those who dwell in your house;
they are ever praising you.
Selah
What is the name written on your birth certificate? Have you ever been in love? What is your favorite color? If you could be a crayon what color would you be? These are all questions that have been sent to me over and over again in a wonderful get to know your friends E-mail questionnaire. My favorite question is “If you could be anywhere right now, where would you be?” This question really got me to think. I don’t really care what color crayon I would be, but I do care about where I am. The first few times my answer was a simple “In Brad’s arms on the beach.” I would type in my response and go on to the next question, something really important that inquiring minds needed to know, “Chocolate or Vanilla?”
Have you ever had one of those days? They say there is no such thing as a stupid question, but if there were that question would certainly qualify. You would be lying to yourself if you denied that some days you just want to crawl back into bed and pull the covers over your head. Sometimes it is not the entire day, but specific moments when you just need to take a break from reality and let your mind go to a secret place. The only people in this place are those you allow into your daydream. You go in your mind to “A World of Pure Imagination.” That is everyone’s favorite place to be right now.
I recently set out on a journey of imagination; looking both into my own secret hideaway along with the dreams of people close to me, willing to share. So many of the places were the same, sand, sun, warm breeze, and a personal attendant to be at ones beck and call to fulfill every desire.
I had the opportunity to fulfill my imagination destination by going on a cruise. I knew no one but my husband. We splashed in the ocean, let the sand squish between our toes, and had attendants who brought us anything we could ever think to require at any time, day or night. The breezes were warm like the breath of God. When God blew the palm trees it was as if a choir of raindrops was singing while the waves stroke the shore keeping a continuous beat. But most amazing was the smell. There was none. It was as pure as if I was imagining the whole experience.
It was there that I realized that although I loved this hideaway, it would never be the same. God gave me the opportunity to travel into my imagination and let it be a reality in my life. Much to my surprise, I would take the reality over the dream any time it is offered.
Through this journey I had much time to reflect and talk to God. I came to the consciousness that it is not so much were I go, but where I always am. We as Christians have the absolute gift of being in Gods presence at all times. We can escape into His Heart and He will hide us in a secret place; where we are always safe from evil, and a bad day.
We never have to leave God’s presence. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 says “Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Jesus Christ.” If we are in continuous prayer we will be in constant fellowship with God, always in His presence, dwelling in Him and Him in us.
To answer the questions above, my birth certificate says Michelle Marie Gengler. My favorite color is purple or sage green. I have been in love and still am, this is why I like Brad’s arms around me. I would be a red crayon, because red is bold and daring. I usually chose vanilla, because you can always add another flavor. Last but certainly not least, my favorite place to be is in the presence of God, there is no greater joy.
Monday, May 17, 2010
Dancing in the Sonslight
Song of Solomon 2:10-12
My lover spoke and said to me, "Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, and come with me. See! The winter is past; the rains are over and gone. Flowers appear on the earth; the season of singing has come, the cooing of doves is heard in our land.
The birds are singing, the robins have returned, trees are budding, and the air smells fresh. The yard is muddy, allergies have taken over, the last of the snow is black, and as it melts it reveals dead grass and all the trash that has accumulated in my yard that was hidden under the clean white snow.
I personally have a love- hate relationship with spring. I know that spring will usher in the warmth and life of summer and I see God working, giving new life to everything, including my attitude. That is the part of spring that I love and treasure. I truly hate the mud and the cleaning. Everything is dirty and needs to be cleaned, including my attitude.
Our relationship with God is very much like the seasons. Let’s go back a few months to autumn. In my imaginary world the New Year would start in September, Labor Day weekend would be New Years weekend.
In our relationship with God, there is that new beginning and the party that happens in heaven when we come to a saving knowledge of Jesus. It’s like ushering in the New Year. The angels dance in a knowing that someday we will be praising God with them in heaven. But right after the party, we come to the knowledge that we must die to ourselves. Just like the leaves die in autumn, we must die to ourselves; and as the tree itself does not die, neither do we. Instead we allow God to work in us, making us new. For Him to do the work He wants, parts of us have to die so He can bring forth the new beauty we hold within our hearts and souls.
Then the winter comes and the beautiful white snow covers the dirt and death of the autumn, just as the blood of Christ covers our sins. The winter air is crisp and clean, each inhale fills us with the excitement of what the spring will bring. As the winter wears on and on we will often feel restless, even depressed. Though the air is crisp and clean, the wind can be bitter and cold forcing us inside and out of the sunlight. Sad as it is to say, being out of the sunlight often forces us to look inside ourselves and suddenly we feel as if we have stepped out of the Sonslight. Just when we start to feel as if spring will never come, the wind changes and the cold north wind becomes a warm south wind. Once again brushing across your face you feel the breath of God, and it draws you out into the sunlight.
Like the moth to the light, we are drawn out into the warmth of spring, waiting with great anticipation for the summer season to come. Hoping to usher in the summer with a greater speed, we spend more time outside, not wanting to miss any of the rebirths that are happening. But when we look around our surroundings we see the mess the winter has left behind; mud, garbage, peeled off topsoil from the snowplow, gravel pushed up into our yards, and we dread tending to the work that must be done. I hate the thought of the yard work, the raking, hauling and having dirt under my nails. But I completely enjoy the experience. Once I start I don’t want to stop until it is finished. At first I go at the work vigorously frustrated that I have to do it at all. Then with no awareness of when it happens, my raking becomes a dance with God, cheek to cheek in the Sonslight. I know we are cheek to cheek because I can feel His breathe, the south wind on my face.
As I tend to my yard, working through the leaves, gravel, briars, and garbage, God is tending to me. He is working through the lies, deceit, frustration, and the guilt of sin in my life. I am preparing my yard for summer, new life, fresh and green, making it ready for growth. God is doing the same to me.
It happens overnight, almost magically. One day you see buds on the trees waiting to open in the sunlight, then with no notice at all you look up and everything is transformed, covered in beautiful new leaves of green.
We run in the sunlight with the cool grass tickling our bare feet. We wade in the refreshing water of the lakes until we simply cannot contain ourselves and allow ourselves to be swept away in the current. Laughing and playing each day wanting summer to never end, too soon forgetting the death of autumn, the bitter cold of winter, and the labor of spring, not realizing that we are taking for granted the long leisurely days of summer.
But Daddy God knows just when to call us in at the end of the day and the cycle starts all over again. He reminds us that our lives are in a constant state of change just the seasons, autumn (death), winter (grace), spring (rebirth), and summer (dancing in the Sonslight with God).
My lover spoke and said to me, "Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, and come with me. See! The winter is past; the rains are over and gone. Flowers appear on the earth; the season of singing has come, the cooing of doves is heard in our land.
The birds are singing, the robins have returned, trees are budding, and the air smells fresh. The yard is muddy, allergies have taken over, the last of the snow is black, and as it melts it reveals dead grass and all the trash that has accumulated in my yard that was hidden under the clean white snow.
I personally have a love- hate relationship with spring. I know that spring will usher in the warmth and life of summer and I see God working, giving new life to everything, including my attitude. That is the part of spring that I love and treasure. I truly hate the mud and the cleaning. Everything is dirty and needs to be cleaned, including my attitude.
Our relationship with God is very much like the seasons. Let’s go back a few months to autumn. In my imaginary world the New Year would start in September, Labor Day weekend would be New Years weekend.
In our relationship with God, there is that new beginning and the party that happens in heaven when we come to a saving knowledge of Jesus. It’s like ushering in the New Year. The angels dance in a knowing that someday we will be praising God with them in heaven. But right after the party, we come to the knowledge that we must die to ourselves. Just like the leaves die in autumn, we must die to ourselves; and as the tree itself does not die, neither do we. Instead we allow God to work in us, making us new. For Him to do the work He wants, parts of us have to die so He can bring forth the new beauty we hold within our hearts and souls.
Then the winter comes and the beautiful white snow covers the dirt and death of the autumn, just as the blood of Christ covers our sins. The winter air is crisp and clean, each inhale fills us with the excitement of what the spring will bring. As the winter wears on and on we will often feel restless, even depressed. Though the air is crisp and clean, the wind can be bitter and cold forcing us inside and out of the sunlight. Sad as it is to say, being out of the sunlight often forces us to look inside ourselves and suddenly we feel as if we have stepped out of the Sonslight. Just when we start to feel as if spring will never come, the wind changes and the cold north wind becomes a warm south wind. Once again brushing across your face you feel the breath of God, and it draws you out into the sunlight.
Like the moth to the light, we are drawn out into the warmth of spring, waiting with great anticipation for the summer season to come. Hoping to usher in the summer with a greater speed, we spend more time outside, not wanting to miss any of the rebirths that are happening. But when we look around our surroundings we see the mess the winter has left behind; mud, garbage, peeled off topsoil from the snowplow, gravel pushed up into our yards, and we dread tending to the work that must be done. I hate the thought of the yard work, the raking, hauling and having dirt under my nails. But I completely enjoy the experience. Once I start I don’t want to stop until it is finished. At first I go at the work vigorously frustrated that I have to do it at all. Then with no awareness of when it happens, my raking becomes a dance with God, cheek to cheek in the Sonslight. I know we are cheek to cheek because I can feel His breathe, the south wind on my face.
As I tend to my yard, working through the leaves, gravel, briars, and garbage, God is tending to me. He is working through the lies, deceit, frustration, and the guilt of sin in my life. I am preparing my yard for summer, new life, fresh and green, making it ready for growth. God is doing the same to me.
It happens overnight, almost magically. One day you see buds on the trees waiting to open in the sunlight, then with no notice at all you look up and everything is transformed, covered in beautiful new leaves of green.
We run in the sunlight with the cool grass tickling our bare feet. We wade in the refreshing water of the lakes until we simply cannot contain ourselves and allow ourselves to be swept away in the current. Laughing and playing each day wanting summer to never end, too soon forgetting the death of autumn, the bitter cold of winter, and the labor of spring, not realizing that we are taking for granted the long leisurely days of summer.
But Daddy God knows just when to call us in at the end of the day and the cycle starts all over again. He reminds us that our lives are in a constant state of change just the seasons, autumn (death), winter (grace), spring (rebirth), and summer (dancing in the Sonslight with God).
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