10 Things the Pastor’s Wife Would like You to Know,

1. Thank you for the groceries you bring to our home. They are very much appreciated. Have you considered a gift card in the amount you would spend instead? Some foods my family just does not like and we don’t always have freezer space for a gallon of ice cream and ten frozen pizzas.

2. Thank you for thinking of us when you are replacing your furniture. Your old living room or dining room set was lovely ten years ago. I understand that at times you find it necessary to purchase new items. I would like the opportunity to do the same. If an item is no longer good enough for your family why do you believe it is good enough for mine?

3. Our home is OUR sanctuary. It is where our family goes to be a family. Please call before you drop by. Do not assume that because the lights are on and the cars are in the driveway that our family wants to stop everything and converse in deep conversation or entertain you. In fact at times our busy life keeps our home from being in a condition where we are comfortable having guests. We may also be dealing with a family issue that we would not like to be your concern. We need time for our family in order to give time back to yours.

4. Your problems are not my children’s concern. Please try to keep your problems out of my home. There are other places they can be discussed.

5. Thank you for your concern and desire to help. But the only welcome advice is the advice solicited. You have a right to an opinion of us, but unless it is positive please keep it between you and God. It is not your responsibility to point out our faults. We are fully aware of them. Discussing them with others does not hurt us as much as it hurts the church body and causes division. If you believe my husband has been called to be the shepherd, don’t you believe that God will deal with the faults? If you cannot follow the shepherd, please leave the flock without eating the shepherd alive. By snacking on the shepherd you endanger the other sheep.

6. My children are just that, mine! I take the ministry of raising them very seriously. So decisions I make in doing so are none of your business. I do not have to justify them.

7. My number one responsibility in my roll as pastor’s wife is just that, pastor’s wife. It is my first and foremost responsibility to care for him so He can care for you. Please do not over step your boundaries of concern for him. You need to care for him, but some parts of his emotions are mine alone!

8. If you come to us for counseling, advice or help, it is your right to apply or not apply the suggestions or advise you are given. However, I will not listen over and over again to the same struggle through the same situation if you have not applied the steps given to you to try correcting the problem. I will not take responsibility for your problem, decisions you make or the sin in your life.

9. It is hard not to take it personally when people leave the church. I will not chase you. You are adults and have the right to come and go as you please. I would like you to be aware of the fact that it hurts when you leave. It pulls at our hearts. When so much time, energy and love have been expended to make your lives part of ours. When you turn you back on the church it is impossible not to take it as a person rejection. Like a rebellious child rejecting the love a guidance of a parent. Some times we need to set aside your immediate happiness because our ultimate concern in your eternal life. You are free to come and go, but if this starts to affect the others in the flock in a negative way, you will be asked to just go.

10. When all is said and done we love you, whether you believe it or not. Please, if I could ask one thing; remember the heavens do not open above our home. Angels do not sing AAAHHH as you walk through our front door, and we are not in a constant state of worshipping and praising. We are human just like you. The only difference is the call God has put on our lives. We are living our lives as the people God created us to be, not necessarily who you expect us to be.